Devolver

by Martin Eden

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04:14
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credits

released March 25, 2015

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Martin Eden Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Stuff I Lost
I've been thinking about the stuff I lost
Two pairs of sunglasses, a cat and love
Left at Star or in a bar
I've been thinking about the stuff I lost

Got my feet on the floor and my head on the floor
I don't think I'm gonna get too far
Track Name: They Give Safe Harbor
When they told us they were leaving
They were gone before we knew what to say
I could barely just believe it
Now we're here and they're a thousand miles away

It took an awful long time
To get it out of my mind
And give it up

Found I'd wandered in the kitchen
Cut my hand and didn't feel a thing
Now we're losing our religion
Like it's something we forgot to bring

We pulled ashore and asked for safe harbor
Tired and cold nearly sunk in the storm
They looked confused and asked what we meant
When the weather for days had been sunny and warm

When they left and it was too late
I laid down but couldn't fall asleep
Track Name: The Trajectory Of My Fall From Grace
It's like when you say you're leaving
And you don't tell the real reason
You have to go
You have to leave before it gets too bad
She says "I'll see you later"
And you wait a long time for the elevator
All the time the ocean sound is ringing in your head
It's been exactly forty minutes since she said "I still want to be friends"

Once in a while I wonder
How long before I'm going under once again
How long before the black tomorrow comes
Sometimes you can smell the storm on the wind
And sometimes it's a false alarm
And everything returns to how it was when it began
It's like learning to fly and taking off
Before you know just how to land

My friends always cut me some slack
Some of them move away, some come back
I'm glad they're here
They make it worth the drive to Somerville
To not be on my own
Those times when I don't want to go home
Because I know when I get there I'll wish I hadn't left
Because my brain won't shut up and it goes in cycles
And it won't let me rest
Track Name: Chuck Jones
If you want to catch something that's good to eat
You can get some rocket skates and strap them to your feet
Or a giant cannon or some angry bees
Or just reach behind a rock and pull out TNT

Everything I know I learned from Chuck Jones
Everything I know

If you're sitting quietly underneath a tree
Or asking for directions to get to Pismo Beach
And some asshole shoots you or starts to scream and yell
He doesn't know it yet but he's about to enter hell

So if some asshole shoots you or tries to start a fi
Track Name: Always Go Out Shooting
Here the voices never sleep
(Can't afford to lose my patience)
Since they put the implants in my teeth
(Beam my location to the agents)
Get off the street and duck into a door
(Before they get me to reveal)
Safe inside the crowd inside the store
What if all these guns were real
(Why are all thee kids in here)
What if all these guns were real

Definitely picking up a tone
(In aisle 3 I see the danger)
These toys are full of psychic microphones
(That g.i. barbie sega ranger)
Now everyone is staring at me hard
(I can't afford to make a mistake)
Before they call the security guard
What if all these guns were fake
(There's too many people here)
What if all these guns were fake

Always go out shooting
I can't afford to wait until the end
To find out if you're a friend
Track Name: A Week On The Shawsheen And Miskatonic Rivers
Picture yourself on a river in a boat
With trees made of wood
And a shore full of dirt and rocks and shit

That's where we are now

Turn around
Go back
It's too late

I want some clean water
Track Name: My Heart Would Know
I could say it's over now
That I was glad to see you go
I could hate you for the way I'm feeling
My lips could tell a lie but my heart would know

It's a sin to make me cry
When you know I love you so
I could tell my heart that I don't miss you
My lips could tell a lie but my heart would know

Now I could give you all the blame
But I'm sure the truth would show
I could tell this world I've found a new love
My lips could tell a lie but my heart would know

I can't fool my cryin' heart
'Cause it knows I need you so
I could tell my heart I'm glad we parted
My lips could tell a lie but my heart would know
Track Name: Fader
Do you need something
I'm gong to the store
Looking for one specific thing they don't make anymore
I always see one guy
He's changing all the tags
And talking to his garbage bags

And it's fading out on me

What was the reason we first came to this place
Shit that happened years ago I still don't want to face
Let's just forget it, it isn't any fun
Now what did I want to get done

This is taking a long time
The calm before the storm
Everyone's huddled in the line just trying to stay warm
Keeping from yawning
I hope it's worth the wait
I might be a little late
Track Name: Lonesome Antboy / Model Café / Big Blue Water
Lonesome Antboy:

I spit upon the last days
They wilt like a Chinese Tarzan
Tell Finder release_the_plagues
Stay long away
My sentence again delayed
Now I lapse into self-indulgence
I don't have a thing to say but say it anyway

The instructions they were receiving
Were misconstruable and misleading
Badly spoken and unrepeating
There was no excuse
The directions they were demanding
Were deviated and underhanding
If we could foster some understanding
What would be the use

Pulled into the Jesus Van
Turns out that I'm just a bleeder
They said "You're a lucky man" then left a piece behind
Got home to see my blue pages
Sacrificed to the King In Yellow
I need to remind myself that I don't have the time

---

Model Café:

Broke down
Snow on the ground
All around
Got some inside me
I was slipping away

These hands
Make their demands
She laughs
She's trembling so bad
She can just say her name

Never nothing
Always something
I know something's wrong

On the phone
Is Mike at home
On hold
They couldn't wake him
He was too far away

Broke down
Snow on the ground
All around
I couldn't find me
I was driving away
Away

---

Big Blue Water:

Everything is fine now
I'm surrounded by this beauty
And it doesn't want to hurt me
And it doesn't want to kill me

Over the big blue water
Then suddenly I'm in it
It's all around me in me
It's just cold for a minute

Under the big blue water
A diving upwards fall
Going faster every second
It's not so bad at all

Now I can feel my body
Put up one last fight
Then I can see the towers
Then I can see the light

Track Name: Walking Underground
All the old ones have gone home
Leaving us here on our own
All the moments didn't last
All the voices fromm the past

Walking underground
Painting in the sun
Bleeding all around
Blaming everyone

Nearly ten years fading fast
Cowboy boots and leaves of glass
Don't need the best just the cheapest
Just the part that goes the deepest

All the old ones are still around
Austin Allston Allentown
350 miles from here
I still remember the cancer year
Track Name: Charting The T.F.G. (a true story)
I gave Bruce a tape of mixes
And I said, "They're roughs
I have to fix the fade on 'Fader'
And Tim hasn't laid down his solo yet"
Later he came to see me
And he said, "You know that song 'Trajectory' is just so sad
I wanted to call to see if you were okay"
I said, "I did the song a week ago
You're kind of late but thanks anyway"

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